Hipster Hunter-Gatherers Ravage Portland
In a story that’s best taken with a grain of artisanal Himalayan sea salt, one Redditor claims that herds of sous-chefs in Portland, Oregon have been tearing up his property in their quest for wild edibles:
“It was fine when they were just harvesting pineapple weed and mallow from the alley and the parking strip, although it was admittedly a little off-putting. I’m also totally cool with them picking the crab apples because some of the branches are in the public right of way. But yesterday my neighbor called to let me know she had to help a sous chef who got stuck on top of my fence holding a baggie full of chicory leaves.”
Replace the word ‘chef’ with ‘raccoon’ or ‘deer’ and, funnily enough, the story loses no coherence. Are locavores newest urban pest? Perhaps blasting mainstream music and sprinkling the property with processed foods will keep the chefs at bay.